Thinking drinking?

 So I'm now 7 days sober. Before I talk about how I feel about that,  I need to talk about yesterday. 

I went to the pub for my sister's gender reveal party. Huge success on the gender reveal/ get everyone to pelt the soon to be Mum and Dad with paint filled water balloons.  What's not to like!


What I didn't like was the smell of booze around me.  I lie I did like the smell, I didn't like not being able to drink it. 

I had a diet coke. Woo. And then my sis offered me alcohol free wine, and I had an alcohol free beer.  And it was nice. I felt more comfortable with the alcohol free beer than I did with the diet coke. 

But this comes down to thinking drinking doesn't it? Replacing alcohol with pretend alcohol? is that a good thing when you're aiming for abstinence?

That being said when I was vegetarian for 28 years I replaced meat with pretend meat. 

I think for 7 days abstinent, I'm putting myself under a lot of unnecessary pressure.  Did I have fake alcohol? Yes. 

Did I have real alcohol? No.

Here is the crux. Did I go home and call at the offy for real alcohol? No. 

For that one time that one brief moment, I felt like everyone else in the bar, by drinking fake alcohol. 

And I don't know if I like that. Granted, King Lois from the Jungle Book sang "I wanna be like you hoo hoo" but I'm sure he was talking about fire. And walking and stuff. A jungle VIP. 


ANYWAY

I've got my first PSI session tomorrow.  

I'm nervous but I'm keen. 

There may be tears x

✌

Comments

  1. Unknown10 October 2021 at 13:51

    Bloody well done x

    ReplyDelete
  2. Unknown10 October 2021 at 14:03

    You're doing great. Keep it up ❤❤❤

    ReplyDelete
  3. Emily W10 October 2021 at 16:14

    My grandmother loved the taste of alcohol. She enjoyed beer. One day, she switched to martinis.. We didn't know why. She would order an olive for each person at the table always olives on the side (don't take up room for booze) them dad went to her next doc appointment. He said her BP was still high.. Did she stop drinking. She said he told her to stop drinking beer (💡aaah reason for martinis). Anyway, she switched to near beer. She loved the taste and it made her happy to keep the routine. So I think you do what works for you. Maybe only at social. Also, I hand a friend who is an addict. He picked up the wrong drink and got booze. It was very stressful to him but he was fine and didn't relapse.. But if you hand concern of a mixup. I don't know what is best but maybe those are helpful. Great question for at your appointment tomorrow (technically today now as you just passed midnight). You will do great at your apartment.. Trust me.. Your story won't shock them.. Seems there is always one worse.. So just be you. Maybe they will say you can do it but try not to at the start. I wish you the best and am unbelievably proud of you. ❤️👏🏻💪🏼 xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Emily W10 October 2021 at 16:16

      Typo city.. Used my damn cell phone with auto-incorrect 🙄

      Delete
    2. Abstinent Shaz11 October 2021 at 01:35

      Thanks Emily 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 I think as my situation is drinking at home, they'll suggest don't buy alcohol free to have in the house

      Delete
  4. Debbie10 October 2021 at 19:45

    You can also order drinks with no alcohol. i have virgin bloody marys (no jokes!!) or, I as the tender if they have some special fruit mixes that they make. Here, we have several non-alcohol beers and my favorite (when I drank it) was Killen's Red. Don't think of this as giving something up, you need the mindset that you are healthy and will be here for a long time for the new baby. We love you and are proud of every thing you are doing!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Abstinent Shaz11 October 2021 at 01:33

      Aw thanks Debbie. Spot on. I'm keen to see what the therapist says today

      Delete
  5. Wendy S10 October 2021 at 22:57

    I hear ya ❤️- and I think your veggie/meat sub is a great analogy.
    You are aiming to to be a non-drinker of alcohol - not a non-drinker of things that make you feel a bit easier in company.
    It is early days and you will question yourself loads 😏('cos you are like that 😘)
    But ....
    You are a week in 👍👍
    You didn't drink - in quite a testing situation 👍👍
    You didn't give in afterwards, (in secret) 👍👍
    You are Smashing it to this point 👍👍
    Good look with your PSI session 😘😘


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wendy S10 October 2021 at 22:58

      .p.s. above comment is me Shaz - Wendy.

      Delete
    2. Abstinent Shaz11 October 2021 at 01:32

      Aw thanks Wendy. You are so right. I'm beating myself up a bit. I need to stop that xxx

      Delete

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