Thoughts and meanderings

 Oh boy, today I've been thinking.  And no good can come from me thinking. 

A part of me is telling me to have that one last sesh on the sauce.  Like I'm trying to convince myself that it's a reward for going abstinent.  "Hey Shaz,  you'll never drink again,  might as well bow out on a high!"

I mean come on, Shaz brain.  I've never needed an excuse before to drink but here you are, giving me an excuse! How daft is that. "I want a drink because I'm going to be abstinent ".

That's just like when a relationship ends and you convince yourself you need that one last bonk. 

And you find that you didn't need it after all, and you've bumped uglies with someone you don't want to be with.

So yeah I've been wondering things today. I've not drank for 5 days.  Am I abstinent now? Have I to wait for the meds and the Psychological intervention to start? Should I drink so the tablets work? See, when I took Champix for smoking, I had to keep smoking for 2 weeks. From what I read of Naltrexone, they work similar to Champix. 

Also the actual brevity of abstinence is hitting home.  I drove past a pub today with people in the beer garden and I thought "bastards". I'm filled with regret that I'm in this situation. 

I also have put my Christmas and new year rota availability in at work. 

I thought about working both Christmas and New year as I can't envisage celebrating new year without my usual inebriation.  Working would avoid it all, but Bob said we can go away self catering and not drink a single thing. 

It all feels too much at the moment and it's only day 5. !

But all in all a successful day.  Didn't call at the offy on the way home. 

✌


Comments

  1. Shelly8 October 2021 at 15:46

    You've got this! X

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Abstinent Shaz8 October 2021 at 15:51

      Thanks Chelle. I'm finding it daunting at the momentx

      Delete
    2. Unknown9 October 2021 at 01:08

      Stay strong sweetheart. Very early days. Dont be tempted. You're doing good. One day at a time. Story - when Steve stopped smoking he fooled his brain by saying "I'm not giving up, just not having one today." Worked! Take heart my friend. You are getting there. Xxx

      Delete
    3. Abstinent Shaz9 October 2021 at 16:33

      Aw you are so correct xxxx

      Delete
  2. Debbie8 October 2021 at 15:59

    You are doing just fine! You just have a cuppa and call it good. I drink seltzer when I want one. It give me the carbonation that i am craving but, I am even off that now. I only use it in my juice to cut down the sugar. Remember, your friends across the pond are here when you need us, just ring.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Abstinent Shaz8 October 2021 at 16:12

      Aw thanks so much my friend. This blog and my honesty in my problem has reminded me of fabulous friends xxx

      Delete
  3. Emily W8 October 2021 at 18:10

    You are 5 days in... You are a Rockstar! Don't start the clock again. That is your Shaz brain telling you to do the same as cigs. You've got this! I hope you never find out if the tablets work because you didn't drink. I'm so excited for you! xx

    ReplyDelete
  4. Unknown8 October 2021 at 22:38

    Well done lovely x

    ReplyDelete
  5. Kim Aitken8 October 2021 at 23:38

    I really think you’re ramblings are going to help with your abstinence as you are getting your thoughts out rather than going over & over them in your head. You are doing great xx

    ReplyDelete

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