Day 51

 Day 51 in the Big Sober House and Shazza is in the kitchen. 

51 days. I know that that is the longest I've been without alcohol since I reached adulthood.  Its not easy.  Its weird.  I still feel like I'm missing something.  

But I'm not crying anymore! Seems I'm embracing the full Kubler Ross cycle of grief and gone beyond " immediate snot bubbles at a kindly voice " to "begrudgingly thinking about accepting abstinence ".

It's progress!

I've found I'm thinking more about drink these days than I did before, though. Mainly how to avoid the temptation  of it. 

The naltrexone works to be fair,  I don't have that " I NEEEEEEED a drink" but it doesn't stop me thinking of it.

In my last check up from the neck up,I talked about how the effect of drinking from an early age had affected me for years. I will always have that thought process, they said. It's there. The desire/ want. But what they're giving me with this PSI is the skillset to respond differently to that thought process. 

"Oh I really need a drink!"

"Well you're not having one. Fuck Off,knobhead "

Works for me 🥰

I've completed my 5 weeks of Relapse Prevention. 

Next week I've got 4 intense sessions of Intuitive Thinking.  This advocates that I will develop skills to live abstinent. 

I hope this works. 🤞

Comments

  1. Emily W21 November 2021 at 08:10

    I'm so impressed by you. You are so mentally strong. You can do anything! ❤️💪🏼👏🏻

    ReplyDelete

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