🎶 Hello darkness, my old friend

 So I sadly ended my 11 year relationship last night and it felt fucking awful. So what do I do? Turn to the old reliable crutch to help me cope.  

Let's be clear, this isn't relapse.  It was an executive "Fuck this" decision. 

It was based on me saying "fuck sobriety " and I did.  

Did I feel better at the time? No I didn't to be honest. Every glass I had I cried over. But I still poured the fucking thing! 

This is what we spoke about in therapy. We have triggers. 

I had identified this as a trigger but I literally said piss off to what we'd talked about in therapy. 

And I'm also fucking annoyed with myself for ordering a takeaway! I did not need to eat pizza! 😫


So all in all, last night was FUBAR. 

If I'm to take something from this is that it's 24 hours later and I'm not repeating the process.. seems I've nipped it in the bud. 

I'm not going to beat myself up over this.  I'm too emotional with other stuff!


80 (-1) days sober 

Comments

  1. Unknown20 December 2021 at 10:17

    Feel for you my friend. Lots of healing love and hugs. Xxxxx

    ReplyDelete

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