A life of grime

 It's been a fair while since I've updated the blog and that's just stupid because there have been so many changes in Shazland. 

The main change is how sober eyes change the way you view people and situations and things. 

And a prime example is my house. Jesus Mary Joseph and the wee donkey,it's bogging. And it's been bogging for years,  but have I cared about that? No. I didn't even identify it as bogging.  I just stopped people from visiting and kept the curtains shut.

I slept downstairs for 18 months on the couch because it felt normal

I left every single empty loo roll tube on the floor in the bathroom

The bath was only  clean in a small square area where I stood under the shower

The loo seat broke off and it's not been replaced 

Mount WashingTonne in the laundry room has been there that long that it's got damp on it.

I bought a ninja oven which has been in its box in the living room for over 4 months 

And these are all things which when I was drinking I was aware of in only a small way, but didn't act on them. 

For example I had a plague of flies in the summer a couple years ago.  I could have chucked the kitchen rubbish out and solved the problem be instead I bought an expensive fly zapper  

I tell you, there is no rational thought when you're an alcoholic. It literally flies out of the window 🪟 

But the thing is now,  at my level of sobriety, the state of the house is getting on my ample bazongas!

I see every fecking cobweb and broken implement and mould spot 🤮

And I know that this house being in such a state, will become a trigger for me in time if I don't sort it out. 

So for the past 2 weeks I've been making leeway in cleaning and organising. I'm literally binning everything(other than the big items) and have made several trips to the tip.

I went round the house with and old broom swirling the cobwebs up like candyfloss on a stick 

I can see the floor now. I can see the kitchen sink, the bath is being soaked in bleach and drain cleaner and I'm ordering a loo seat from amazon. 

There is so much more work to do but my plan is to get it safe for people to come into the house so that I can pay a cleaner 😆

The biggest change is that I've gone back to sleeping in my bed upstairs.  And my sleep is so much better for it.

So a work in progress, as is my recovery.

🤘

Comments

  1. Wendy S24 July 2022 at 03:20

    Every little step is a step towards the way you want to be. Pay that cleaner as soon as you think it is possible to get them in (they are Soooo used to much worse than you think they are) Getting on top of the mess will then have become a big (good) step forward AND it is so much easier keeping tidy than making tidy xx

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